Beyond the Mask
by RikutheOtaku
Summary: A story told completely from Tali's POV focusing on her evolving relationship with a female Shepard. Femshep/Tali rated T for kisses, a love scene, and occasional language. Chapter 1's rewrite is complete! Chapter 2's rewrite is complete! Chapter 4 coming soon!
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I did an edit of this chapter to both make it longer and give a bit more credit to the events of Mass Effect 1. I did go out of canon on parts. Because I like it better that way. I hope this revision was worth it! Thanks for reading!

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My name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. I'm a quarian who's spent the last 8 months aboard the SSV Normandy, a stealth warship commanded by Commander Kate Shepard, the first human Spectre, N7 marine, extremely talented biotic, and holder of my heart. I still remember when I first met Shepard. I was a just a stupid kid on her pilgrimage who had just arrived on the Citadel. I didn't think I needed my barriers up.

That was my mistake. Saren's men shot at me and punched a hole clean through my suit. I tried to get some help but no one cared. I made a stupid business deal with the shadow broker expecting someone to help me, but he turned on me like I should've expected him to. I thought I was dead. Until a beautiful young commander came to rescue me.

I honestly didn't know what to think about you at first. All I knew was you interested me. I joined your crew on the Normandy and we started talking regularly. As we talked more and more my interest in you grew so much in so little time. I then grew to be attracted to you over time. As something much more than a friend.

Together with the rest of the crew of the Normandy we hunted Saren Artimus, a rouge spectre, to try and stop him from his maniacal plans. Our search led us to many places all around the galaxy. I still remember all of our talks. I remember growing to trust you so much that I told you about my mother's death and about my relationship with my father. After we picked up an asari named Liara T'Soni, however, I noticed you were coming down to engineering less and less. I felt selfish for thinking you could only talk to me. But I missed you. So much.

Then one day, I was in a particularly bad mood and I was taking it out on the poor drive core try to disassemble a particular part for repairs and I was having trouble.  
"Stupid bosh'tet piece of junk!" I yelled with anger.  
"Having trouble?" You asked. I was surprised by the fact you came down to see me at all. I thought you had forgotten me.  
"Yes. Just a little bit. This piece of junk just takes a simpler mind than mine to take apart."  
"Great! Hand it over then!"

"Shepard, you're no engineer. You couldn't hope to take it apart."  
"Ouch. That's true. I'm no engineer, but I have a few tricks on my own remember?" I sighed a sigh of defeat and handed it over to you. And I was surprised when I saw you slowly but carefully disassembled it piece by piece with your biotics. I knew you were good with them, but I never realized you had that much fine control over them.  
"Here. Told ya so." And you smiled a triumphant smile. I always melted a little when you smiled. You had a habit of getting under my suit.  
"Thanks Shepard. Now what are you doing down here?"  
"I wasn't aware I needed a reason to see my favorite quarian." Keelah…you always knew what to say.  
"You don't. It's just that I've noticed that you don't come down as often anymore. You've been spending a lot of time in the med lab."  
"You're right. I have. But I enjoy our time together Tali. I enjoy our talks. But if you'd rather I leave…" you then started to walk away. I had to do something so I said,  
"Wait! Don't go. Please."  
"Alright. I'll stay right here. And don't think you've escaped me yet. I'll be coming down here a lot more often starting today." And you lived up to your word. You started coming down everyday at least once. Eventually we went to Virmire. A lot happened there, your standoff with Wrex, destroyng the Genophage cure, but worst of all Kaiden's death.

After we got back to the Normandy I looked for you. I finally found you in your cabin sitting on your bed looking at the floor.  
"Hey. Are you okay?" I asked you.  
"No Tali. I'm not. I just left a good friend of mine to die. He's dead because of me."  
"That's not true and you know it. You had to save as many people as possible. And you did. Think of all the people who will live to tell this story because of you. Me, Wrex, Garrus, Liara, Ashley, that STG captain and his squad. You saved so many people. You're a hero. And if Kaiden were here he would tell you the exact same thing."  
"Tali…"  
"I'm here for you Shepard. Whenever you need me." And I reached over and put my right hand over your left. It was the first time I'd ever touched you. The closest I'd ever been to you. You simply put your other hand on top of mine and said,  
"Thank you." Living in the moment, I stayed with you that night. A couple of weeks later we went to the citadel to tell the council what we found. Only to be told that we were getting locked out of our ship and grounded. So we did what only we could: we stole it. It was a very daring move, but I wouldn't expect anything less from you.

After hijacking the Normandy, we immediately flew off to Ilos. It was gonna be a few hours before we got there so I went up to your room to spend what could've possibly been our last chance to talk.  
"Hey."  
"Hey, Tali. I wasn't expecting you."  
"I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk to you while I still could."  
"You're acting like we'll never speak again. We'll be fine. I promise."  
"I hope you're right. But just in case I want to be with you until we get there. If you'll let me, that is."  
"Of course, I would like nothing more." And we just sat there and talked for a few hours. After we arrived at Ilos you kept me on the ship for the risk of me getting another suit puncture. I hated being a bystander anxiously waiting on some news about you. A little while later Garrus was carrying you back onto the ship. I was so worried.

I ran as fast as I could to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas was doing some kind of examination on you and I couldn't intrude. But I stayed outside of the med bay until she was done. Then as soon as I was able, I ran into the med bay. You were asleep so you couldn't hear me, but I stayed there with you for hours. I even went to sleep in the bed next to you so I wouldn't leave your side. I couldn't help but keep waking up to check on you though.

Eventually you woke up I heard you moving around the med bay and it woke me. Not that I wouldn't have been up soon anyway.  
"Tali? What are you doing here?"  
"I came to check on you. And I couldn't bring myself to just leave. So I slept in here last night so I wouldn't leave you. What happened?"  
"I'm not sure. One minute we were about to head back to the Normandy, the next I have a killer headache. And then it just goes black. I don't remember anything."  
"Are you okay?"  
"I will be. You shouldn't worry yourself so much over me."  
"I can't help it. I'm sorry."  
"Don't apologize. I appreciate it. Thank you Tali. Let's get back to work okay?"  
"Y-yes. Of course." So we did. We learned from Ilos that the Citadel was where the reapers would come from. So we had to hurry there.

We got there as fast as we could. But the invasion had already started. It was chaos. Geth were all over the Citadel. It was my nightmare come true. We fought our way all over the Citadel. Until we finally got to Saren himself. It was one of the fiercest battles I'd ever seen. Biotic warps and shockwaves flying everywhere until finally he went down. Or so we thought.

He came back. But he was different. His eyes were bright red, he was no longer turian. He was indoctrinated. Fully under Sovereign's control. But somehow you talked him out of it. And he ended his own life. But that wasn't the end. We still had Sovereign to worry about. And he made his presence known by blasting a piece of the overhead structure sending down at us. I thought that was it. We were through. And I would've never gotten the chance to tell you how I really feel…

But somehow we hadn't died. We were very much alive. I looked around and I saw you holding up a biotic field around the yourself, Me, and Garrus. I was shocked that you could hold it up against such heavy force. After everything had stopped falling you put the barrier down and fell to your knees from the strain of holding up the barrier against all that rubble.

I immediately ran to your side full of concern.  
"Shepard! Are you okay?!"  
"I'm fine." You reassured. You then stood up.  
"Shepard!" A familiar voice yelled. We turned around to see Captain Anderson.  
"Anderson?"  
"Yeah it's me. Come on we have to try to find the council!" So we went through the entire citadel looking for them, only to find out they were aboard The Destiny Ascension, an asari dreadnought, Shepard then had to make a tough call between diverting the fifth fleet to the council, ensuring their survival, or to retreat and save the human lives but sacrifice the council. She chose to save the council.

After the fifth fleet and several other squadrons of ships destroyed Sovereign, she was told humanity would be given a spot on the council. She recommended Captain Anderson for the position and the Citadel was saved. It had quite a bit of rebuilding to do, but it was saved. Afterwards, the whole Normandy crew were treated as heroes. For a couple of months anyway.

After 2 months they sent us into the Omega system to hunt down remaining pockets of geth. It infuriated me that even after Sovereign attacking the citadel they still didn't believe in you. We were out there for a few days and never found any sign of geth activity. Then one day we were attacked. It came virtually out of nowhere. One moment everything is normal. But then the next there was chaos.

All I remember is running to the escape pods desperately hoping I would see you on the way there. At that moment I didn't really care about myself, I cared about you. But I never saw you. And I watched the Normandy explode with you on board.

I should've known this would happen. I should've prepared for this heartache you brought me. Damn you Shepard. Damn you for making me care so much. Damn you for making me so attached.

Damn you for dying.

Afterwards the crew separated without a word. Wrex went back to Tuchunka silently and visibly distraught. The only person he was willing to open up to. The person who helped him get his family's armor and his honor back was gone. He had no reason to stay.

Liara was understandably saddened by your death. I wanted to help her, but I didn't have anything to offer. She left without a word to anyone, not even Dr. Chakwas, who she had become great friends with.

Garrus went back to C-Sec. The move surprised me. But I remember you pushing him to go back and protect those people when it was all over. Maybe that was his way of paying tribute to your wishes.

Ashley stayed with the Alliance and got some top secret assignment.

Joker was secretly blaming himself for your death. But he hid all his emotions under humor.

And just like that, everything we had done together was gone. The council isolated Sovereign as a single threat. And all of our history was destroyed. Erased by the council. I lost respect for the council and Alliance leadership.

My love was gone. My hope, all I wanted. Lost to the void of space.

Goodbye, my love. My hopeless dream. I'll never forget you. I'll never let you go.

Keelah Se'lai.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Wow! As of writing this almost 400 people have viewed this story! That's way more than expected. Thank you for reading this story so far! Thanks to the followers and the person who took the time to favorite this. I wanted to do this update and make it longer and hopefully give more substance to the ending and conversation between FemShep and Tali. But anyway, thanks again! Expect chapter 4 soon! -Riku

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My name is Tali'Zorah vas Neema. After the _SSV Normandy _was destroyed in an attack by an unknown ship I went back to the Migrant Fleet. Like I said before, everything that happened aboard the Normandy with Commander Shepard and her crew was completely washed away by the citadel council. It still makes me sick how they could just ignore everything that happened.

After your death there was never a night where I didn't go to sleep thinking about you. Never a morning I woke up not thinking of you. You were the subject of my every waking thought. The subject of my every dream.

The events after your death were high in amount, but low in significance. They occupied my time, but they never stopped my thoughts of you. Never helped my heartache heal. Until one day, I was chosen to lead a rescue mission on a human colony named Freedom's Progress.

We were sent there to retrieve one of our people who was there on Pilgrimage. His name was Veetor'Nara. He was always unstable, but when we found him he had been exposed to open air, his Co2 scrubbers had been damaged so he was likely delirious as well. When we arrived, it was eerily abandoned. Not a single man, woman, or child was left at the colony.

All we found was a few reprogrammed security mechs which were easily handled. We suspected that Veetor was the one who reprogrammed them. We finally tracked Veetor to a warehouse on the far end of the colony, but he had reprogrammed a heavy mech. We couldn't take it on so we retreated to an abandoned house and tried to come up with a plan for taking it down. When suddenly the door flew open and my men raised their weapons at two Cerberus operatives and…

Keelah…it couldn't be…  
"Shepard…is that…you're alive?" It couldn't be anyone else. Your look was unmistakable. I had memorized every detail of you through our talks. But I noticed the cybernetic tint in your eyes. And the scarring on your face. Were you still you? Could you be trusted? And what were you doing with Cerberus?  
"Tali!" You yelled with joy on your face. And you smiled that smile I loved so much.  
"Remember that geth data I gave you Tali? Did it help you complete your pilgrimage?"  
"Yes. It did. Weapons down, Prazza. This is definitely Commander Shepard." I couldn't believe it…you were standing right in front of me. Commander Shepard. My hope. My dream. My love. Not a clone or copy, but the real you.

Suddenly, two years worth of grief came crashing down on me like a heavy weight on my shoulders. I felt weak, like I would collapse under my own weight. My heart was racing like you always made it. I wanted to break down crying and hug you. I wanted you to hold me and tell me it was alright. But I hasd to be strong, there was work to be done.  
"Cerberus spent two years rebuilding me Tali. They want me to investigate these attacks on human colonies. What are the quarians doing here?"  
"One of our people was here was Pilgrimage. His name is Veetor. We came here to find him."  
"Isn't that a bit strange? A quarian visiting a remote human colony?"  
"Quarians can choose where they go on Pilgrimage. Veetor liked the idea of helping a small settlement. He was was always…nervous in crowds." But then Prazza stepped in and said,  
"She means he was unstable. Combine that with an open air exposure and damage to his suit's Co2 scrubbers and he's likely delirious."  
"We managed to track Veetor to a warehouse on the far side of town. We suspect he reprogrammed the mechs to shoot anything that moved."  
"We should team up from here on. I have a gut feeling that we'll both need the help." Said Shepard.  
"Good idea. You'll need two teams to get past the mechs anyway."  
"Alright then. It's settled. We work together to get to Veetor. Come on. Let's move out," you said two the two Cerberus operatives behind you, "Keep in radio contact." You said to me.  
"You got it. Stay safe Shepard. See you on the far side." And I gave the signal to move out to my squad. And I couldn't help but smile behind my helmet. I couldn't believe it. You had come back to me. My love had returned. And I would be damned if I was letting you go so easily this time.

Almost immediately after we left the building where we had our talk, Prazza, that bosh'tet, ran off ahead along with his squad convinced that you would take him back to Cerberus. I radioed you immediately afterwards,  
"Shepard! Prazza and his squad rushed on ahead! I told them to wait, but they wouldn't listen! They want to find Veetor and take him away before you get here!"  
"We'll catch them Tali. Don't worry so much." You replied. I had complete faith in you. You had never let me down before. I knew you wouldn't start now.

After finally catching up with Prazza's squad, or what was left of it, I saw that Veetor had reprogrammed a heavy mech, and it was slaughtering Prazza'a squad. I radioed you and told you to get your squad into cover, then opened the loading bay doors. I then took cover to avoid the mech.

I watched as you took it down with ease. Your combat skills had no rust at all. I heard you shouting orders,  
"Miranda, overload it's shields! Jacob, incendiary ammo on now! We need to punch through it's armor! Scatter and take cover, go!" And so your squad followed. As you took cover behind a storage crate in the middle of the yard with the two Cerberus operatives on you left and right.

I watched as the woman skillfully took down the mech shields with a combination of Overload and sub-machine gun fire. As the man and yourself took down its' armor with Warp and incendiary ammo. And finally, your specialty, I watched as you hit it with a Singularity followed by a Warp causing a huge biotic explosion. Biotic detonations you always called them.  
"_They're better than a grenade any day!" _You'd always say. I saw you use the technique several times before, but something seemed off. It seemed like your singularity was bigger and faster. It made me a bit scared. Had they messed with your amp? What else had they changed?  
"Nice work you two." You said. And the first thing you did after you destroyed the mech was check on me. "Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine, Shepard. Really. But I've got survivors to take care of right now. Go check on Veetor." You simply nodded in return and went on your way. After treating what survivors I could, I went to catch up with you and your squad. As I neared the building, all I heard was,  
"Grab the quarian and let's go. We need to get this back to the Illusive Man." It was that woman in your squad.  
"What?! Veetor is injured! He needs treatment, not an interrogation!"  
"We won't hurt him. We just need to get the information, then we'll send him back." Said the male in in your trio.  
"Veetor isn't going anywhere isn't with Tali back to the Flotilla. She'll give us the Omni-Tool it will be left at that. Understood?"  
"Understood, Commander." said the woman with obvious anger. I smiled a smile of victory under my helmet.  
"Thanks, Shepard. I'm glad you're still the one giving the orders."  
"You know I'm on an important mission. I sure could use you." Damn it. Of all the things you could ask me for. Of all the things I would do for you. On this I had to deny you. And it was the worst pain I had ever felt.  
"I can't, Shepard. I have an assignment of my own now. And it's too important to abandon. Even for you." A smile then graced your face. Not the smile that made me melt inside mind you, but more of a smile of sad acceptance.  
"Lawson, Taylor get back to the shuttle. I'm going to go with Tali back to her ship. I'll be right behind you." and with a simple nod towards the door they both left. "Come on. Let's get you two back to your ship. Which way, Tali?"  
"It's not too far from here. Follow me." So we left the warehouse and headed north toward my ship which felt sadly empty after all those deaths. After we arrived I said,  
"You didn't have to come along ya know. But thanks."  
"'I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. I wasn't just going to let this opportunity to talk to my favorite quarian again pass me by." Keelah…even after 2 years…even after you died….you still managed to melt me like you'd never left.  
"Oh…well…okay. Go into the ship Veetor. I'll be there in a few minutes." Veetor simply nodded in response and followed the survivors into the ship. "So…what did you want to talk about?" Honestly, I was still in a daze that you were back, and you were talking to me.  
"Nothing in particular. How have you been these past couple of years?"  
"I've been okay. There's been some rough spots." She didn't need to know about all the time I spent crying and grieving her.  
"What happened to everyone else? Do you know?"  
"I used to. After a little while I lost contact with them. We were all brought together by you, Shepard. Without you there to unite us and the Normandy gone there wasn't much reason for us to stay together. After what happened, Wrex and Liara left without a single word to anyone. Garrus was back C-Sec when we last talked. Last I heard of Ashley, she went back to the Alliance, but I don't know what happened to her afterwards. Sorry I can't tell you more. I really don't know what they're up to now."  
"It's alright Tali. I'm just glad you're okay. I was worried sick. What's been happening with you these last two years?" You were worried sick about me…?  
"Well after you died, I went back to the fleet and completed my Pilgrimage. Afterwards, I was assigned to the Neema, so technically my name is Tali'Zorah vas Neema now. I became pretty known around the Flotilla thanks to my work with you. Not a lot of significant stuff happened in the last two years. Eventually I was chosen to lead this rescue mission. And here we are."  
"I'm glad I could help you. I wish you could come with me. I always feel more comfortable knowing you're there." Damn it, how do you keep doing that? I wanted to, believe me. I wanted nothing more than to be there for you.  
"I really should get going Shepard.I have no doubt those Bosh'tet admirals are wondering where we are." You just looked down. Then I saw the same smile I saw back at the warehouse, the smile that just showed sad acceptance rather than happiness.  
"Alright," Then you looked up at me, and said with sincerity, "Stay safe out there Tali. For me."  
"I will. I promise." And I boarded my ship. As we started to take off, and I watched Freedom's Progress get farther and farther away, I let everything sink in. You were back. Somehow, someway you had come back to me. My only love. The person I aspired to be with. And I had made a promise to you. A promise to stay safe.

I'd keep that promise. I wouldn't let myself get hurt. I needed to be able to see you again. You weren't getting away from me so easily this time. I promise you that I'll see you again. No matter what it takes.


	3. Chapter 3

_My name is Tali'Zorah vas_ Normandy

After I left Shepard and her squad on Freedom's Progress, I escorted Veetor backed to the flotilla and started my own assignment I mentioned before. It was a stealth mission to the planet Haestorm. It's sun was destabilizing faster than it should due to what appeared to be a significant amount of dark energy building up in the sun's core. My team and I were sent to investigate.

The sun itself was making all the work harder than it should've been. Due to the increased solar radiation from the sun's core slowly overloading, our equipment kept dying on us. We were there for a couple of weeks before everything went to Hell. Like I said, this was scheduled to be a routine stealth mission. We were supposed to do a few weeks of research on the planet's sun, gather any relevant data we could, and send it back to the fleet. Of course, the geth had other ideas.

About 2 weeks into the assignment, I had finally gotten one of our scanners to work after hours of trying to repair it and was out on one of the platforms trying to get accurate solar readings, when suddenly I heard an explosion and a lot of radio chatter.

"The geth have spotted us! Get Tali'Zorah to safety! It's imperative that she-" is all I heard. The rest was an explosion followed by static.  
"Ma'am we have to get you out of here!" Kal'Reegar screamed grabbing me by the arm.  
"But Kal, what about those other marines?! They need our help!"  
"They knew what they signed up for ma'am. Your safety is our top priority. Now come on!"  
"We can't leave them!" Kal simply looked down as if deep in thought and sighed.  
"Fine. I'll go help those men. You three there! Take her someplace safe!"  
"Yes sir!" the two marines said in unison.  
"Be careful Kal," I told him. He simply nodded and ran off to join the battle. The three marines led me into an old archive building. The walls were beautiful. They were decorated in stone like all the other buildings on this colony. It always amazed me as to how our ancestors walked these halls with uncovered heads. How they could feel the texture of the stone and smell flowers without olfactory filters.

After waiting in the archive for what seemed like hours I decided to try to contact base camp.  
"Tali'Zorah to base camp. Come in base camp." I didn't expect to hear anyone. But what I did hear shook me to my core.  
"Tali, this is Shepard. The others didn't make it. Are you safe?"  
"Yes. For now. I'm in an archive north of your position."  
"I'm coming to get you. Are any of your squad members still alive?"  
"I think so. I can hear them firing at the geth outside. But please, if you see someone named Kal'Reegar try your best to keep him alive."  
"We'll do our best Tali. We're on our way." And with that the call ended. Keelah Shepard…what were you doing out here?! We're in the middle of geth space! And not only that, now you've gone and gotten mixed up with a fight between quarian marines and the geth! That's just what I needed…now on top of all the stress from this assignment and worrying about my squad, I have my always present worry for you. I love you, but you're always a mad, raving, lunatic of a bosh'tet! You're not allowed to get hurt protecting me…

As I stood there anxiously waiting on you or some news on how you were doing, I decided to occupy my time by downloading what data I could salvage from this disaster of a mission. And as I was finishing my final download I heard the door open. I knew it was you. I heard the geth dying outside.  
"Just let me finish this download."  
As I finished you unexpectedly turned me around and hugged me.  
"Shepard?"  
"Tali! I'm so glad you're safe." She then let go and gave me that adorable smile that melted me inside. "Well? Was this data worth it?"  
"The admiralty board thought it was."  
"I didn't ask what some admiral thought. I asked what you thought."  
"I don't think some data about stars blowing up was worth all these lives."  
"What were you doing out there anyway?"  
"Haestorm's sun is destabilizing. Me and my squad were sent here to investigate why."  
"Find anything?"  
"We think it's because of a massive amount of dark energy in the sun's core. I won't bore you with the science."  
"Well you've completed your assignment. Can you come with me now?"  
"Yes. I'd like nothing more. And if the Admiralty Board has a problem with it they can go to Hell. I just watched the rest of my squad die."  
"Maybe not the whole rest of your squad ma'am." Said Reegar walking into the room holding his side.  
"Reegar! You made it!" I was happy to see him. He then told me about how you got him to stand down and took down a geth colossus. I should've known you wouldn't let me down. You never do.  
"Will you be okay to make it out of here?" asked Shepard with concern.  
"Yeah I think so. The geth didn't hit our ship, so as long as we get out of here before reinforcements show up we should be fine."  
"Actually I'm not coming with you. I'm going with Commander Shepard."  
"Understood. I'll head back to the flotilla and pass the word along. Take care of her Shepard." Reegar seemed to take the news in stride, but I'd read other quarians my entire life and I could tell he was saddened by the news. I think he understood why I never responded to his advances on me.

When we got back to the Normandy we were welcomed by Jacob Taylor, a Cerberus operative.  
"Welcome aboard Tali. I've seen you in action. I know you'll be a huge asset to this team."  
"I don't know who you are, but Cerberus threatened the safety of the Fleet. Don't make nice." I said with disgust. It made me sick that this lackey was trying to be friendly when he was part of the organization that threatened the safety of my people.  
"I wasn't part of what happened to the Migrant Fleet, but I understand your concern."  
"Jacob. Could you give us a moment alone please?"  
"Yes ma'am." And with that he left the room. And for the first time in 2 years we were in a room alone. My heart was racing, I felt like I was going to explode.  
"I think I made it pretty clear who I'm looking for huh?"  
"Yeah I guess so." And you gave me that adorable smile with the added bonus of a small chuckle.  
"I assumed you were undercover Shepard. Maybe planning to blow Cerberus up. If that's the case, I'll loan you a grenade. Until then, I'm working for you, not for them, Well, I'd better find some work. I'll be down in engineering if you need me." But as I walked by, you grabbed my arm. It as only the third time we had touched. And it was the third time my brain was scrambled, my heart was racing at what felt like 1000 beats per second, breathing got harder. "Shepard? Is something wrong?"  
"Tali…I wanted to tell you something. I've been looking for some of the old crew. Garrus is on the Normandy. Wrex is clan chief of Urdnot on Tuchunka. Ashley was stationed on Horizon, A colony that got attacked by the collectors. And Liara is an information broker on Illium." Damn it...there you go bringing up Liara. I still find myself being jealous of the moments exclusive to her. "But she's different…I still care about her and want what's best for her. But I don't miss her being around. I'm not hurt by the fact that's she not here…not like I was when I saw you at Freedom's Progress…"  
'What do you mean?"  
"When I saw you walking away at Freedom's Progress…it felt so wrong. It felt like part of me was leaving."  
"Keelah…I'm so sorry…I didn't…"  
"It's alright. I understand having a mission you need to see through. You're here now. And now I can tell you this: Tali…it took me literally losing everything to see what was shining in front of me the whole time. I want to be with you Tali."  
"Shepard…I never thought…I mean…" Keelah, what do I say? What should I say? The woman I love just told me she wants to be with me. "I want to be with you to Shepard. But aren't you scared? I mean we could both get sick. Jeopardize the mission. And you deserve to be happy with someone. And I can't do that no matter how much I…" But you blew all of my doubt away when you grabbed my hands and said,  
"Tali, if you're scared I don't blame you. But I don't want anyone else. I want you. I've always wanted you. And I'll do whatever I have to to make this work."  
"I understand…I figured as much…I'm sorry for...oh. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll do some research. See if I can get some ways to temporarily boost my immune system. I can take some boosters and have some injections. I'll figure something out. I promise."  
"I know you will. I'll talk to Mordin. I'm sure he can help."  
"Well, for now I should probably find some work you know where to find me. Feel free to come by any time you want."  
"Just like old times." You said with a chuckle and that smile.  
"Well maybe not the exact same." I said with a laugh. And I walked out and worked my way to engineering. Once I was there I got to work. I noticed the new armor plating. Asari Designed Silaris Armor. It was leagues above the old armor on the original Normandy. When I learned that Jacob, the Cerberus drone, suggested the upgrade my respect for him grew a very small bit. What baffled me was that Cerberus kept the old shield design from the original Normandy. The collector ship's weapons cut right through the old Normandy's shields in seconds. So I immediately started researching new kinetic barrier technology. I eventually came across new prototype technology called Cyclonic Barrier Technology.

I showed it to Shepard, we got the proper resources, and with the Cerberus engineers Ken and gabby we got it installed within a week. Which, considering there was only three of us, was pretty impressive. After our talk in the debriefing room, Shepard and I got into a routine. I would always sleep in your cabin. Most of the time we were either passed out of the couch in each other's arms after talking for hours or we were simply held tight in each other's arms on your bed after looking at the stars through your star port.

We spent as much time together as possible. We would almost constantly talk. And I was content with where we were. But I knew I wouldn't be for long. I needed to feel you. To touch my skin against yours. I needed it more than anything. One morning a few weeks after our relationship started we got up and separated like we usually did. It was always the hardest part of the day being away from you. But I knew that night I would return and stake my claim to you.

I entered your cabin that night without knocking but you knew it was me. I could see you taking your immuno-boosters and antibiotics.  
"Hey. I wasn't expecting you."  
"I know. But I was thinking about you. And I wanted to see you. I was going to bring music but I wasn't sure what'd you like. I know we've prepared. We've both taken supplements and shots. I wanted to help the mood you know? I just wasn't sure how. And I'm babbling like an idiot." Your attention had been diverted to the datapad in your hand. So I removed it and gently moved your head to face me.  
"Wait a second Tali. It sounds like you're suggesting something."  
"What could I possibly be suggesting? I mean a young woman gets rescued by a beautiful commander, joins her crew, and goes off to save the galaxy? How could she possibly develop any kind of interest in her?"

"I see your point. Although I am interested in this commander you mentioned. I'm sure she's fantastic."  
"She's the best."  
"Tali…you know we don't have to do this if you don't want to."  
"I know. But I'm sick of the restrictions. Sick of the borders. I need you, Shepard. But to be honest I am kinda nervous. I mean, I've never shown my face to anyone before. What if you think I'm ugly? I don't want you to run off screaming because you saw my face and…" and then you removed my visor. And I saw you for the first time without a filter. Without a visor. I could smell you with a olfactory filter in the way. I could take all of you in. You were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

"You're…intoxicating…" you said. You seemed just as breathless and speechless as me. But then you started to lean in slowly. I wasn't sure what to do. My head was suddenly filled with doubt. I wasn't sure I could do it. But then I felt your lips touch mine. And I was overwhelmed. I had wanted this for so long. I came to my senses long enough to kiss back, but I heard a small moan escape you when our tongues made contact. We just sat there in our own little paradise. But I needed more.

Those clothes and this suit had to go. Now.

And I made my intention known. I started removing your clothing piece by piece. And in response you started removing my suit piece by piece. As more and more of my suit got removed, I felt more of my skin get exposed to the cold air of the room. Until it was just us. No suit. No clothing in the way. We were one. It was like a graceful dance. We felt each other. All of each other. We kissed everywhere.

I still remember when we got into a position where I was below you and your legs were around me…keelah the things you made me feel! And during our dance you placed a graceful kiss on my cheek. And said in a whispered and loving voice,  
"I love you."  
"Shepard…you don't mean…don't say that if you don't mean it."  
"I mean it Tali. I love you. More than anything. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I've never said it to anyone before."  
"Shepard…" and you silenced me by kissing me passionately. It was the best night of my life being together with you. Commander Kate Shepard. And in that moment I wasn't with Commander Shepard, Hero of the Citadel. Or Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre. I was with Kate, my girlfriend, my love, my ultimate dream.

We continued our dance for what seemed like a peaceful eternity until we finally reached an amazing climax. And afterwards we were holding each other in your bed. And I said something I should've said a long time ago. I kissed you on the cheek and whispered to you,  
"I love you." Your response was simple and elegant much like the person it came from. You held me tighter than ever before. As if you were never letting go. And we fell asleep together. As one.

For a few days afterwards I had a nasty cough, a fever, and my sinuses were filled were something I could not or not want to describe. And it was totally worth it. And I told you as such. A couple weeks after our night together, I got a rather disturbing message from the Migrant Fleet. They were charging me with treason. I expressed my concern to you and you immediately set a course for the fleet.

Garrus, yourself, and I stepped foot onto the Rayya where we were greeted by a trio of quarians. One of which I recognized as the captain of the Rayya.  
"Captain Shepard. I've heard much about you from Tali'Zorah. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Though I wish it was under better circumstances." Said the captain extending his hand. You took his offer of a handshake and said,  
"The pleasure is mine, captain. Tali's helped the Normandy's crew through many tough situations I'm honored to be here for her. What are the charges against Tali?"  
"She's been charged with bringing active geth to the fleet." I was shocked.  
"What?! I never sent active geth! I only sent bits and pieces!"  
"We can discuss it later, Tali. Right now, we need to get to that trial."  
"Right. Let's go." So we went to the trial. On the way we met up with Shala'Raan vas Tonbay, a friend of my father's and she informed me of my new new name. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. And I told you about how stripping me of my ship name is as good as calling me exiled already. The news I received at the trial shook me to my core. The Alarei, the ship my father served on, had apparently been overrun with geth and killed everyone on board including my father. Then you stepped in,  
"I appreciate the need for this trial admirals. But right now our first concern should be the safety of the Migrant Fleet. We have to take back the Alarei." The admirals agreed to this request and sent us on our way. What we found when we got there however is a difficult story to tell. Because it changed everything…


End file.
